American Teens Say They Want Quality Time With Parents

According to a new survey, many teens want to spend more time with their parents.

A new national poll contradicts the conventional wisdom that teenagers want their parents to "just leave them alone."

Up to 67 percent of America's teens say they actually want to spend more time with their parents. That's according to an online survey of 1,250 adults and teens conducted by Opinion Research Corporation.

Nearly half of the teens who responded said they would be happier and better adjusted if they were able to spend more time with their parents or other adult caregivers, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles or adults outside the family.

"While most make it through adolescence without excessive stress, teenagers are at greater risk of school drop out, arrest, drug use and some psychological disorders than other age groups," explains Dr. Holly Kreider, a research associate at the Harvard Family Research Project at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. "This is when they need engaged adults in their lives, to help separate the good from the bad and to know that they have a chance for a great future ahead of them."

The survey shows what some say is a clear disconnect in a number of American families. While nearly a quarter of teen respondents said their parents don't seem to have enough time to spend with them, the majority of the parents surveyed did not report having struggles with finding enough time to spend with their kids. Dr. Kreider says this disconnect may be the result of parents underestimating the amount of time their kids want and need from adults.

But parents are faced with many demands for their time, ranging from careers, to their own hobbies and activities, to potentially caring for their own adult parents-all things that can take away from the time they might otherwise spend with their children.

Single parents may have even less time for their kids. So how can a parent achieve more quality time with a teen?

Dr. Kreider, who has worked extensively on programs that strengthen parent involvement and engagement, advises parents to seek out local family resources. She has served as an advisor to Boys & Girls Clubs of America (BGCA), an organization that she says has recognized and responded to the needs of parents, with local assistance in strengthening families.

In particular, BGCA's Family P.L.U.S. (Parents Leading, Uniting Serving) Initiative, which is funded through a $7 million grant from the Kimberly-Clark Corporation, provides family-strengthening activities and resources in local communities to help families become more stable, cohesive and connected.

There's more good news for parents. Teens say it's the simple things - like taking walks, sharing meals, playing games, watching TV and talking more with each other - that they most want to do more of with their parents. They also say - and parents agree - that they’d like to spend more time as a family planning for the future.

"It may be surprising to many parents that teens don't expect lavish getaways just for family time, but that they would much rather have the quality time at home," said Kreider. "This should open the doors for many parents who were hesitant to ask their teen if they'd like to do something around the house together or to go see a movie."

Join the Boys & Girls Clubs of Garden Grove for its Day For Kids on September 16th. Spend some quality time and come out for some free family fun! For more information, please email Paul Ramirez.

Tips: For Spending Quality Time with Your Teen

Create a Family Calendar
Just as you keep a calendar for work, start keeping a calendar of scheduled family time. You should schedule family events in advance. Keep those times logged in your date book as you do other engagements. Be sure to encourage your teenager to make suggestions on what the family can do together and include him/her in making the final decisions.

Get Involved
As a parent, you should become involved in the activities your teenager participates in regularly. Volunteer to be a coach for your teen's sport team or Girl/Boy Scout troop leader. Participate in PTA activities at the school or plan to chaperon a field trip. Getting involved with your teenager's activities gives you the opportunity to share untraditional quality time with your child.

Involve Children
As a parent, your busy schedule (work, meetings, deadlines) may often take you away from your teen for a period of time. If you participate in activities such as golf or tennis, include him/her in a game or two. If you are scheduled for a business conference out of town, and your budget will allow it, make plans to bring your teenager along. Perhaps time will allow for tours or other city attractions during your down time.

Plan Outings
Family time does not necessarily have to be spent in or around the home. Pack a backpack and go camping. Plan to schedule exciting outings that include attractions in your hometown or neighboring cities such as amusement parks, museums, etc.

Be Interested
Middle and high school students often come home with assignments or school projects. Take an interest in their school assignments. In these ever-changing times, teenagers may take an interest in various hobbies or activities that you are unfamiliar with. Ask them about these interests. You may be able to incorporate their hobbies into a family activity.

Take Advantage of Mealtimes
Mealtime can be one of best times of the day for capturing family time. Make it a priority to plan a little time during the morning to chat and offer inspiring words before starting the day. Conventional times allowed families to have dinner together. Get back to tradition. Make dinnertime a ritual where it is always at a set time during the day and everyone in the family knows how important it is to share dinner together.

Acknowledge Generational Trends
Teens today are apart of the technology age. They have better and quicker access to more things than perhaps your generation. Try to relate to and/or understand your teenager's generational trends, such as clothing and music. Learn what is attracting his/her attention.

Listen/Talk
Sometimes as adults we become so caught up in our own lives, we don't hear the things our teenagers are saying. Take the time to talk with them. Show them you are interested in hearing what they have to say. They will appreciate you for it.